That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize