Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize