i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
