I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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