my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
