Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
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If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
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you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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