I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
