Moan for me like Helen Keller
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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