you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
