May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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