ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
