Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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