not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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