your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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