ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
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