i jhust puked up my retainher.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I didn't notice because vodka
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
