So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize