He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
