I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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