How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
