Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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