sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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