the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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