i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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