the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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