You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
