Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Randomize
