drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
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there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
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Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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