I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
