i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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