I think my vagina is haunted
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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