I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My hand turned me down
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
