My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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