you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
