She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Randomize
