It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
