Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
