I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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