She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
