I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
