btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
