Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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