I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
