I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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