I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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