Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
