How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i think i just lost a toe
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
