OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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