So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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