ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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