hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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