Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
