Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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