She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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