he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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