So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
