Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
