Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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