At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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