so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
