Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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