watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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